Twinkle! Twinkle!

"Twinkle! Twinkle! Little star. How I wonder what you are?"

She used to hate it when I sang this song to her and just coz she hated it, I sang it even more. Twinkle was one of those kids you'd call a 'Wise Crack'. Man! She was 5yrs old but she'd talk like a buddi amma. Always clad in a baniyan and a chaddi, she'd say she was no less than any of the boys in our church compound. She was fair and absolutely cute.

Today when I heard what had happened, I ran to church to see her. All I saw was her lifeless body, lying in a freezer box. I couldn't gather enough courage to walk up to her. How could I? When you say the name Twinkle, I can only think of this cheerful child, always running around, playing and giggling... mostly giggling and giggling over nothing. She would sit in the front row during Sunday School and dance to every song we sang. She didn't care about who was around her. But yea, she'd love to come and tattle tale about the boy next to her who wasn't doing any actions... I can still see her rapt attention when we did the famous 'zoo' skit in VBS. Her laughter still ringing in my ear. After every act, she would come up to me and laugh at the way I dressed or the way I acted... What I wouldn't give to hear her laugh again!

When I ran to church today, everyone thought Twinkle was my student in Sunday School - she wasn't. And the worst part, she never will. This academic year she'd be all of 6 and would have been in my class but I'll never know what it would feel like to have that little atom bomb.

There was this once when I was getting ready for a concert in church. Not finding any mirror, I went to car in the parking lot and looked in to the mirror while putting on my lipstick. And this little thing was standing in front of me, explaining to me in all profoundness, why it was good to put listick (as she called it) and how I should do it more often. She also explained to me, and mind you at that time she was all of 4, why an eyeliner pencil is not good, because it always made her eyes water. Then she noticed that I had put everything but didn't put 'poeder'. I told her I wasn't carrying any, and this little thing ran to her house, still clad in a baniyan and chaddi, and came back running with her fist tightly shut. She came up to me and opened her tiny palm - she brought me some 'poeder' to put on. The powder she brought probably would cover just one side of my cheek, but she was so proud of what she did. She protested when I kissed her and left my listick marks on her but then, she eventually gave up. I found great pleasure in irritating her coz when she got upset, her fair cheeks would go pink!!!

Twinkle is still one of the most precious children I've come across. It just breaks my heart to know her life was so short. Today as I stared at this sleeping child, I thought of all those children who walked in to my life over these past years, and I wish I could run to each one of them, give them a tight bear hug, give them a tight kiss leaving my 'listick' mark on them, and tell them I love them.

Twinkle! Twinkle! Little star!
How I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky!

Goodbye Twinkle, you'll always be a diamond in my heart. And tomorrow, when I don't see you in the front row in Sunday School, I'm going to miss you like crazy, knowing full well, I never will see you here again.

Even though I don't understand why this happened, I guess I don't have a choice but to say as Job did - "The Lord gave... and the Lord has taken away"

I'll miss you baby!!!

Holy Fool

The other night I read this awesome article called Holy Fools for my devotions (Our Daily Bread). And this particular verse caught my attention. It reads - When God spoke to Abram, he obeyed at once, departing for an unknown land based only on a promise. Childless, he trusted God to make of him “a great nation” (Genesis 12:2).

I love how the verse says that Abram departed, based only on a promise!!! I mean, WOW!!! And beat this, God told Abram he’d be a great nation, when he was 75yrs old and God fulfilled His promise when he was 100yrs old. Despite the fact that there was a difference of 25yrs between the promise and its fulfillment, Abram not once doubted! It’s just awesome! Plain awesome! That’s the only explanation!

Its so weird how in theory faith seems so “wow” but when exercised, we realize that our faith does not even amount to the size of a mustard seed! This Abram dude has officially become my whack-stick and my faith-hero! Hez super cool!

Just Realized...

I just realized that there is NOTHING I (we) can mess up in my (our) life that God cannot set right.I think I (we) can safely pride in our Lord's damage - control skills :)In Christ, its never an end ... Always a NEW BEGINNING!!!

Happy New Year! - Better late than never they say...

As I stand at the threshold of a brand new year, I am humbled as I reflect upon the year gone by. For me, 2009 has been more than trying – I’ve faced challenges I’d have never thought I’d meet but as I look back at the year, I’m grateful for the strength each of those challenges instilled in me. And forced me to lift up my head and keep my eyes on Christ Who to me, matters most.

I’m grateful for every single blessing I’ve received – Blessings so innumerable that even if I do try, I fail to name them all, but as I attempt to, leave me mesmerized and amazed at what the Lord has done.

I’m grateful for family, friends and loved ones… I’m grateful for friends who, even when deeply hurt, have learnt to move on in life… Grateful for those who dared to take that one step toward achieving their dreams… Grateful for friends who took that step of faith and ventured out, away from home, holding on to the surety of Christ’s everlasting presence with them.

I’m grateful for every fight, misunderstanding, showdown and embarrassment I’ve faced in 2009, as each of them convinced me toward improving myself.

I’m grateful for every promise given, fulfilled and yet to be fulfilled, both in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.

I’m grateful for God’s mercies which, as promised in the Bible, have been new EVERY morning. I’m grateful for His undying love and unconditional grace… Above all, I’m grateful for God’s great faithfulness in both my life and yours.

Happy New Year!

In Jesus I Am Complete

I read about this awesome guy today - His name is Nick Vujicic. If you ever get the time, you must look up his website: Life Without Limbs. His life and testimony reminded and encouraged me to hope in a power that transcends all comprehension. His life emulates and lives the kind of faith that our Bible talks about - a faith that can move mountains... A faith that is manifested only when you learn to trust like a child - For such is the Kingdom of Heaven!(Mark 10:14)

I always wondered why the Bible gave so much emphasis to a child... Did you realize that for everyone else in the Bible Jesus laid hands but children, He took in his "arms" (Mark 10:16). I now have learnt that the most remarkable thing about a child is in his unquestioning hope, trust and unfathomable joy in his father! The "father" figure means the WORLD to a child... My nephew Ankith, believes without doubt that his dad can do anything... believes that everything around him WILL submit to his father. That is what I suppose our 'Father' expects from us. It will not be a cake walk and He never said it would be - in fact, His Word declares that there will be a yoke but in Him, it will be easy - its our attitude toward our situation and our hope in our Lord for our circumstances that make our burdens light.

The life of Nick Vujicic helped me understand how being an adult, I can live the faith of a child. Here is a testimonial that I took from his website - this should say it all.

I Met a Man of God Today

I met a man of God today
born without hands or feet.
He stood on stubs and spoke of love,
“In Jesus, I’m complete.”

He said that it did not matter
what blemish we may bear,
that if our heart holds on to heaven
that Jesus we shall wear.

To show the world that there is hope
let’s shine the Light to all.
Regardless of our circumstance,
in Jesus, we’ll stand tall.

Without a hand he reached my heart,
encircling my soul;
without legs he walked toward me,
saying I can be made whole.

This man who lacks a full body
the Lord has given much,
for even in the darkest night
he knows the Father’s touch.
By: Nancy Hardy

My prayer this day is that each of us learns to handle our problems, our circumstances, our challenges and submit them to our Lord - for is anything too hard for the Lord? (Jeremiah 32: 27) If you and I find our life incomplete, I pray we are inspired from the fact that in Christ, we are made complete!

Amazing Love - How Can It Be???

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)

Struggling with my strongholds was now a daily affair … I got sick of myself because I had no one to talk to … nobody would address the issues I had. I couldn’t go back to God with the kind of guilt I held. I mean, what face did I have to go back to Him? Staying away from God’s Word kept me weak and lost. I hated myself … hated who I had become … I needed help! Where could I go???

Fighting my feelings of guilt and disgust, I closed my eyes and wept … I had to do something … didn’t know if I could run back to my Savior. All of a sudden I could hear someone snore. I looked around but was shocked to find myself in a place I had never been to before. I looked around and found 3 people fast asleep. Then I heard someone talking. When I went over to look, I found this man kneeling down and praying. He was saying something about a cup and “your will be done” and I couldn’t understand what was going on. There was something about him that was familiar but I didn’t seem to be able to put my finger on it. As I looked closely, I saw him crying. He was sweating blood! I got scared! I heard a lot of commotion. By the time I realized what had happened, I saw the soldiers take this man away. It was Jesus! Dear God, it was Jesus!!!

I was so scared. What was happening? Where was I? I was in the garden of Gethsemane. What on earth was I doing there??? I ran behind the soldiers but couldn’t catch up. I looked for a place to stay that night and found some people sit around a fire. I heard them say that “Jesus” was under trial the next day. I had to go … I had to see what was going on.

I found my way to the palace but it was too late … I heard the crowds scream – “Crucify him! Crucify him!” – Dear God don’t let this happen I prayed but in a flash, the soldiers took my Lord away. I ran after them…

They tied my Lord to a pole and tore His clothes off. “No!” I screamed. But nobody heard me. They laughed at him and said mean things … one guy even spat on Jesus’ face. Why was He keeping quiet? Why couldn’t He snap back? Then I saw the most horrible looking man come forward and put on His head, what seemed like a crown of thorns. He put it on His head and pressed it down hard. Blood began to flow. One drop at a time and my Lord’s face was covered with blood. I had to do something … But what could I???

They dragged my Lord and took Him out in to the open for all the people to see. Another soldier came forward and he had a very weird looking whip with him. There was a lead ball with a really sharp hook to it. Before I could wonder what he intended to do with it, I saw him thrash my God with it. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” I heard Him scream! He thrashed Him again! “Aaaaaaaaaa…” This time, I saw pieces of flesh stripped off His body. “Leave Him alone! Oh please leave Him alone” I began to cry. No one heard me. I begged for someone to help but no one came forward. The guys who were with Him the previous night refused to recognize Him. How could this be? “Leave Him alone” I cried again. But there was only one person who took notice of me. His eyes locked with mine, and while the soldier continued to tear the flesh off my Lord, He looked at me and smiled!

What had I done? I realized that should’ve been me…. Not Him! Christ was innocent … it should’ve been me!!! Battered and weak my Lord had to pick up the cross. It seemed like it weighed a ton. I ran to Him and cried “stop it Jesus. I’m sorry … just stop it”. He put the cross down for a brief moment, brought my head to His chest and said “shhhhh… it’ll be alright”. A soldier came and dragged me away while flogging my Lord again. “Leave Him please, He’s doing this for me” I said. But no one bothered.

I couldn’t watch any more. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” I heard Him scream louder. “Aaaaaa” I heard Him again. They nailed Him … they nailed my Lord to the cross!!! As they raised the cross to position, a soldier lost balance and the cross came crashing down, with my Lord flat on His face. “Jesus!!!!!!” I shouted. “Father, help me” I heard Him say. But no aid came to Him. When the cross was finally in place, it seemed like Jesus was struggling to even breathe. How could He? Every drop was His blood was already shed. I knew He was in pain but I could do nothing. “Forgive them” I heard Him say. How could He even say that? “My Lord, my Lord, why have You forsaken me?” I heard Him shout out to heaven. And then I knew it was time. One last drop of blood flew to the ground as I heard Him commit His spirit to the Father. The sky turned dark … it was as if the sun turned its face away. “My Jesus is dead”. I started weeping and crying. That should’ve been me! That should’ve been me! I kept holding on to my strongholds and refused to repent. My sin had to be punished but my Lord took it on to Himself. What had I done??? What had I done??? It should’ve been me!!!

I should’ve been crucified! He took my place!!!

There was pin drop silence; No one around except two guards. A BIG stone covered the tomb. Three days had passed since my Lord was laid in there. I just sat outside not knowing what to do. Suddenly I saw a bright shining light radiating from the tomb. What was happening? I ran up to see that the stone was rolled away and my Lord walked out. He is Risen!

I ran to Him and He took me in His arms! I said “Jesus I’m sorry for all I have done”. He said, “That’s ok sweety! It is over now! You are mine!” Here I stood, gazing at the man Who loved me beyond comprehension! “How could You do this Jesus? How could You die in my place? I should’ve been crucified” I said. He looked at me with love and compassion in His eyes and said, “I know that is why I took your place. You are mine. Nothing can separate us now”. “Didn’t you get scared? How could you go through the cross?” I asked Him. “Simple” He said smiling at me, “Above all, I thought of you!!!”

While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me and that is reason enough for me to live.

I woke up with a start. It all seemed so real.

I knelt down before the Lord and said, “Jesus, I am Yours!”

Dream or no dream I’ll never know. But one thing is for sure. After what He did for me, nothing can separate me from His love now. As I agreed to surrender myself to Him that day, He agreed to hold my hand and break all of my strongholds and baggage away!

I should have been crucified
I should have suffered and died
I should have hung on the cross in disgrace
But Jesus, God's Son, took my place

By Faith

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would LATER receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going (Hebrews 11:8)

This verse made me look back in to my own life …How I keep doubting in my Lord’s plans for me just because they are not immediate … Did He not say – “Blessed are those who do not see, yet believe”???

There are so many times in our lives when we want, what we want, when we want it … talk about being spoilt … but it most often than not does not happen that way. We have our plans and our own goals to reach but they do not always materialize. Does this mean we’re losers? Does it mean we don’t have it in us to accomplish what we have set ahead of ourselves? Does it mean God doesn’t care??? Heck No!!!   

Our God cares so much for us that He agreed to go through 33yrs of His life, knowing full well that His destiny was on the cross of Calvary so that you and I could look forward to a life with Him in Paradise. Most of us brush away His sacrifice thinking to ourselves – okay He died … hey He is God isn’t He … He could do it.  But dear friends, the fact will remain that Christ was completely God and completely man! It wasn’t easy for Him to endure the cross … especially knowing how horrendous it would be! Just thinking about it freaks me out … and to think that my Lord chose to do it for me. The Bible (NIV) records that just before He was arrested, Christ fell to the ground and asked God to take this cup (death on the cross) away from Him … yet prayed that it be not His own will but the will of God alone. The cross wasn’t easy for Him. And when we as Christians are asked to deny ourselves and bear our cross (Matt 16:24), what makes you think its going to be a cake walk? Understand this friends, things do not always go our way and most often than not, they will not. But the fact will always remain that when we walk in His strength, you will indeed see that His yoke is easy and His burden light (Matt 11:30)

Over the years, I have learnt and understood that it is when I, like Abraham trust God intoto, that my faith is manifested in to my miracle!

The fact remains - We have our hope, our future and our security in Christ alone!!! :D