Twinkle! Twinkle!

"Twinkle! Twinkle! Little star. How I wonder what you are?"

She used to hate it when I sang this song to her and just coz she hated it, I sang it even more. Twinkle was one of those kids you'd call a 'Wise Crack'. Man! She was 5yrs old but she'd talk like a buddi amma. Always clad in a baniyan and a chaddi, she'd say she was no less than any of the boys in our church compound. She was fair and absolutely cute.

Today when I heard what had happened, I ran to church to see her. All I saw was her lifeless body, lying in a freezer box. I couldn't gather enough courage to walk up to her. How could I? When you say the name Twinkle, I can only think of this cheerful child, always running around, playing and giggling... mostly giggling and giggling over nothing. She would sit in the front row during Sunday School and dance to every song we sang. She didn't care about who was around her. But yea, she'd love to come and tattle tale about the boy next to her who wasn't doing any actions... I can still see her rapt attention when we did the famous 'zoo' skit in VBS. Her laughter still ringing in my ear. After every act, she would come up to me and laugh at the way I dressed or the way I acted... What I wouldn't give to hear her laugh again!

When I ran to church today, everyone thought Twinkle was my student in Sunday School - she wasn't. And the worst part, she never will. This academic year she'd be all of 6 and would have been in my class but I'll never know what it would feel like to have that little atom bomb.

There was this once when I was getting ready for a concert in church. Not finding any mirror, I went to car in the parking lot and looked in to the mirror while putting on my lipstick. And this little thing was standing in front of me, explaining to me in all profoundness, why it was good to put listick (as she called it) and how I should do it more often. She also explained to me, and mind you at that time she was all of 4, why an eyeliner pencil is not good, because it always made her eyes water. Then she noticed that I had put everything but didn't put 'poeder'. I told her I wasn't carrying any, and this little thing ran to her house, still clad in a baniyan and chaddi, and came back running with her fist tightly shut. She came up to me and opened her tiny palm - she brought me some 'poeder' to put on. The powder she brought probably would cover just one side of my cheek, but she was so proud of what she did. She protested when I kissed her and left my listick marks on her but then, she eventually gave up. I found great pleasure in irritating her coz when she got upset, her fair cheeks would go pink!!!

Twinkle is still one of the most precious children I've come across. It just breaks my heart to know her life was so short. Today as I stared at this sleeping child, I thought of all those children who walked in to my life over these past years, and I wish I could run to each one of them, give them a tight bear hug, give them a tight kiss leaving my 'listick' mark on them, and tell them I love them.

Twinkle! Twinkle! Little star!
How I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky!

Goodbye Twinkle, you'll always be a diamond in my heart. And tomorrow, when I don't see you in the front row in Sunday School, I'm going to miss you like crazy, knowing full well, I never will see you here again.

Even though I don't understand why this happened, I guess I don't have a choice but to say as Job did - "The Lord gave... and the Lord has taken away"

I'll miss you baby!!!